This is long ... but many wonderful friends have asked about my appt. today, so here's an overview for those interested. :)
Today was my 30 week appointment with the fetal maternal specialist. I'm already high risk due to my previous preterm deliveries, but this time, my placenta is also low. We have been hoping and praying that it would have moved on its own by this appointment. This problem usually fixes itself as the uterus stretches. But the good news I was longing to hear did not come today. There's been no change.
What does that mean? It could mean I have to have a C-section. To some, that may seem like no big deal, but it's the opposite of what I desire. I see wonderful midwives because I hate needles, surgery and invasive procedures. I want a natural water birth. Scheduling a C-section for me would be challenging because there's no warning as to when I'll go into labor. Steve would be in Saudi, so I would have to go through it alone ... and I'm already an emotional mess all of the time ... sigh!
My dream is to carry this little boy to full term, so we can come home from the hospital together. No NICU, no leaving without my son, no terrifying procedures for my baby ... no separation.
No decisions have been made yet. We're taking it a day at a time, praying that he stays put and that the placenta moves. There's nothing I can do on my own. No magic pills I can take, or routines I can follow, or exercise I can do to move the placenta. This is completely out of my hands - and that feels frustrating and overwhelming at times.
But I came across these words today, and I'm holding tight to these promises:
You are never left to fight a battle on your own. We can all trust God when we have some control in the situation. But when the problem is impossible for us or anyone else to help, that is when our faith is put to the test.
It is his will that prevails in the outcome of every problem we face. If you will try to understand that truth, it will bring you peace when all hope seems gone. Your struggle is actually the transforming power that reveals God’s strength. It is always his purpose to bring you through your heartache and reveal more of himself to you. Your battles are won long before they start because Christ paid the price for your victory.
Although you may not feel it now, your life is filled to overflow with God’s unending power and purpose. His angels are surrounding those who belong to him. There is nothing that has been left to chance.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.” That is a promise from God.
https://mvbernard.com/tag/feeling-helpless-and-hopeless
